On Friday, Chris and I took his mom out to an early Mother’s Day lunch since Chris and I had made plans to go to San Jose on Sunday. Chris’ mom wanted to go to The Cheesecake Factory, so it was The Cheesecake Factory we went where we bonded over ginormous slices of cheesecake and good conversation: she told us all about her recent trip to Paris, and we told her all about our plans for the wedding, potential jobs, and eventually going back to school. Overall, the lunch was a lot of fun; Chris’ mom is a sweet woman who is fun to hang out with. In fact, she reminds me of a blonde version of my mom, and I couldn’t help but think during lunch how, if my mom was still alive, they would be great friends.
On Saturday morning, I rolled out of bed as the sun came up and got ready to run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K. This was my first year participating in the event and I did it for two reasons: to run my first 5K and, more importantly, to support the fight to end breast cancer. As it turns out, this event is HUGE: my little sister and I were two of 20,000 people who participated! It was really inspiring to see so many people there ready and willing to support such a great cause, whether they were running, walking, or volunteering. As for the 5K, I think I did well; my goal was to run the whole race in 30 minutes or less, and I ended up running it in 30’28”, so I was satisfied. I left the event feeling extremely content: not only did I accomplish my goal time for the race, but it made me happy to be a part of a good cause that honored my mom and the hard battle she fought.
On Sunday, Chris and I drove to San Jose to visit my grandpa, aunts, and uncles since this would be our first Mother’s Day without my grandma. This was my first time visiting my grandma’s house since she passed away; being inside of it felt cold, empty, and eerie– just like my mom’s house did right after she died. It was a sad day, but my family members and I managed to maintain half-hearted smiles on our faces as we remembered and celebrated our loved ones who are no longer with us.
It was at the very end of the weekend when I finally broke down and cried. Maybe it was because I had seen one too many “My mom is awesome and still alive!” posts on Facebook. Maybe it was because at one point during the day, I caught my grandpa sitting alone with the saddest, most heartbreaking expression on his face. Maybe it was because this is only my third Mother’s Day without my mom (and now grandma), and no matter how badly I want the pain to get easier as the years pass, it doesn’t.