Before we even got engaged, Chris and I already knew that we wanted to have a super small, simple, and inexpensive wedding– inexpensive being the key word here. Our reasoning for this is because we both agree that we don’t want to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on A DAY, or rather, a huge party for everyone we know that includes food, alcohol, and entertainment. Chris and I would rather put our money towards our student loan debt, traveling, going back to school, and buying a house someday. So we threw the idea of having a huge wedding straight out the window. Instead, we planned on city hall and dinner at a nice restaurant with our immediate family. Super small. Simple. Inexpensive. The end.
And then we officially got engaged.
And then certain family members automatically assumed they were invited. Some assumed they would have a spot in the bridal party. Some started making requests of what they want to see happen at our reception. Some suggested we have TWO receptions. Some started asking us, “You guys are going to throw a huge party, RIGHT?!”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned while being engaged, it’s that when certain family members find out you’re engaged, they’re going to get REALLY excited about it. Like, so excited they might start putting pressure on you to “throw a big party”, invite people you don’t really know, and essentially, have the kind of wedding you don’t actually want.
While I appreciate that there are people in my life who are REALLY excited about me and Chris getting married, all of this added pressure to have a big wedding that I don’t actually want is kind of stressing me out. Why? Because I have actually started thinking of ways how Chris and I can stick with our plan for city hall, and throw a big party later on: “Maybe we could have the party at my dad’s house? But where would everyone park? If we invite so-and-so, then we’ll have to invite so-and-so. How much would food and alcohol cost for 100+ people, anyway? WHAT IF WE THROW A PARTY AND IT TURNS OUT LAME!?”
While this may seem like a logical solution that will make everyone happy, I’m still not completely sold on the idea; whatever Chris and I decide to do, it’s going to take time and money to plan. And the bigger the party, the more time and money it’s going to take to make happen. And as much as I love my family and friends who want to celebrate my and Chris’ special day with us, I’m about 90% sure that I don’t have the time nor the money to throw them the “huge party” that they want.
There are a little over four months left until Chris and I get married. There’s probably still time to throw together a huge celebration and make it work, but even if I did, my heart wouldn’t be in it. I don’t want the stress of planning and paying for the “perfect day.” I don’t want to invite and entertain people I barely know or even like. I don’t want to do what I don’t want to do. Therefore, I think I’m going to have to be selfish with this decision and say, “It’s my wedding, and I’ll do what I want to. And what I want is a super small, simple, and inexpensive wedding.”