You know how some people tend to gain weight when they get into a relationship? Or start to let their overall appearance go after they get married?
Yeah, I’m one of those people.
I’ve never been like those women who are really into beauty supplies, clothes, and spending hours at the gym. You know, those women who always look like they just stepped straight out of an issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. But even though I’ve never been REALLY into my looks, I still gave a shit about them; in college, I wore make-up, curled my long brown hair, dressed up, and stayed active in order to maintain a healthy weight. I put effort into my personal appearance, and I was happy with the way I looked.
Well, ever since I graduated from college and met Chris, a lot of that has changed: I fight acne breakouts on a regular basis, I wear scrubby clothes in public more than presentable ones, I’ve put on a good 20 pounds, and I kind of just stopped caring about looking cute and pretty whenever I leave the house. I believe that this change in me directly correlates with the fact that I’m not just in a relationship, I’m married; therefore, I a) don’t feel like I have to look good in order to attract a man because I already have one and b) I’m comfortable with said man. Chris tells me I’m beautiful all the time, and I know he loves the way I look (20 pounds overweight or not), so essentially, I’ve stopped trying when it comes to keeping up my appearance.
Even though I know Chris thinks I’m beautiful and loves me the way I am, I’m still going to be my own worst critic: I haven’t been happy lately with the way I look right now, and I want to change that. I don’t want to deal with acne breakouts anymore (especially since I’m in my late 20’s). I want a wardrobe that is mature and presentable. I want more long flowing locks and less messy buns. I want to lose 20 pounds so I can get back down to a healthy weight. I want to look good and feel good again, and this is how I’m going to do it:
- I’m going to be better about washing my face at night. I’m so bad when it comes to washing my make-up off before bed, which I know is the root of my acne problems! I also want to apply a face mask every couple weeks to deep clean my pores and further prevent breakouts.
- Grow my hair out and wear it down more (e.g. around the house, while running errands). I think I’m so used to pulling my hair back at work, I routinely pull it back even when I’m not at work. I also plan to stay on top of scheduling bi-monthly hair appointments for trims and color touch-ups.
- I’m in the process of revamping my wardrobe. I’ve recently cleaned out my closet to get rid of old, fading, outdated clothes and made room for some new additions. I’m also trying to reinvent my style; I’ve been feeling too old to shop at Urban Outfitters and H&M recently, so I’m exploring new clothing stores, like Express and Banana Republic.
- Work out and eat healthy! This is a big one. I’m so tired of being unhappy with my body. I’m only 27 years old and I’ve never had kids—there is no reason why I should be 20 pounds overweight! (There are 30-year-old women out there who have had many kids, yet they have bangin’ bodies because they workout.) These last few weeks, I’ve been working out every day and counting calories, so hopefully I see some results soon. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by summer.
I really do feel like I am too young to be letting myself go, married or not. I only have a couple years left of my 20’s, and I don’t want to spend it feeling crappy about the way I look. When I’m 80 years old, I want to look at pictures of my young self and think, “Damn, I was hot!” instead of “Ugh, what a slob!” So hopefully, I’ll stay on top of these changes (especially the weight loss one) and start to feel confident again soon.
Do you ever struggle with your personal appearance? If so, how?