Last Friday marked six months since Chris and I got married.
I’ve been thinking a lot about our marriage lately now that we’ve reached the halfway point of our year as newlyweds. Throughout these last six months, many people have asked me, “So how’s married life?” A response I’ve heard for this question from others is “It’s the same as before we were married.” Well, my answer?
I say this because I feel like right now, at this point, our relationship is the strongest it’s ever been; things are so good, and we are so happy. We aren’t facing any rough patches like the hardships that come with long-distance relationships or the stress that comes with one spouse financially supporting the other. We aren’t adjusting to living together in a tiny, studio apartment and sharing a car. Instead, we’ve dug ourselves so far out of the hole we started out in a year ago and have ended up in a really good place.
We did it by believing in each other, believing in our relationship, and working together, which are important factors of any good marriage.
Here are some other areas we’re working on that are making our marriage stronger and more successful every day:
1) We’re making time for each other. I’ve heard that during the first year of marriage, it’s important to spend as much time together as possible. Right now, Chris and I are working completely opposite schedules. However, we are making it work by finding time in our work weeks to spend time together. Some days I’ll meet Chris on his lunch break, and some days, he’ll get off work early to come have lunch with me before I go to work. Also, we usually have Saturdays off together, so we’ll reserve Saturday nights for our weekly date night.
2) We are working on our finances. I’m not gonna lie. We are your typical poor newlyweds; Chris finally got a job about a month before we got married, so we’ve been recovering financially ever since. It’s taking us a while to get to where we want to be financially because we moved, I bought a car, and neither of us get paid very much to begin with. But the important thing is we’re paying our bills on time, we’re not fighting about money, and we’re both making a concerted effort to work on our credit scores and save money for our future together.
3) We are communicating. I have a bad habit of browsing on my phone or laptop instead of paying attention to people who are actually in front of me. (I think in a world of smart phones and social media, many people are guilty of this.) So I’ve been working on breaking this habit when someone is talking to me, especially when it’s Chris. When he is telling me about his day, his job, his family, his friends– anything, I put down my phone/turn away from my laptop and LISTEN. And I expect the same from him. I don’t ever want us to be one of those couples who go out to dinner and play on their phones the whole time instead of actually talking to each other.
So that’s how things are for us at the halfway point of newlywed life: a good place that’s getting better and better every day because of the work we’re putting in. I know that marriage isn’t always going to be all sunshine and rainbows; I’m sure we’ll go through more rough patches and adjustments in the future, like when we start having kids in a few years. But for now, everything is wonderful, and we couldn’t be happier.